yup.

so in therapy i've referred to my house as a 'suck it up household.' and my therapist gets this and takes it into consideration when we're talking about how i feel with regards to dad's surgery. yesterday's analogy was like a fireman at the station waiting for the alarm to go off. all by myself. so that was hard. and then today i get this email from my grandmother.
Dear Rachel: Mom told me that you are making yourself sick worrying about and thinking constantly about your Dad's surgery. Honey, worrying about it is not going to change a thing. It may be another month or two before he gets word that he is scheduled. it is most important that you remain strong in your faith and be a source of encouragement and support for both him and your mother. We all must take it one day at a time. If you get sick your mother will be the one that will have to take care of you and she does not need that. And she does not need to be worrying about you not functioning well at work or while driving around. Look forward to your trip to Lancaster and concentrate on that experience and have a good time. I know that you are capable of taking charge of your life.
Love you, Grammy

basically saying. suck it up. have your feelings, but don't let anyone know. is it any wonder that i don't tell them i go to therapy? sigh.


on a totally different note, there's a book out called 'a year of living the bible literally.' and it looks pretty interesting and kinda funny, and there's an email dialogue going on at slate.com between the author and another religious writer guy. pretty funny stuff and really interesting.

hope you're all having a great wednesday!
r