friday song lyrics

the scientist, coldplay
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry, You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, Tell you I need you, Tell you I've set you apart
Tell me your secrets, And ask me your questions, oh, let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails, Heads on a silence apart
Nobody said it was easy, It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing, At numbers and figures, Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science, Science and progress, Do not speak as loud as my heart
Come tell me you love me, Come back and haunt me, All in a rush to the start
Running in circles, Chasing our tails, Comin' back as we are
Nobody said it was easy, Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be so hard
I’m going back to the start...

feedback appreciated

hey there blogosphere, most of you know i work with high school kids and many of you may remember that last year i went with them to the beach for a week in june, well we're going again and i have offered to help write the program for them. this years theme is the olympics! there are 6 programs to write and i'm taking the point in writing/coordinating the writing of the programs. here are the possible program ideas i've brainstormed, please, please, please let me know if you have any thoughts:

globalism
cheating in sports-- the ethics of the flop (based on a presentation a sports philospher gives)
china: tibet/pollution/family planning (not all lumped together, 3 seperate)
international human rights issues
god and sports (john 3:16 references, crossing yourself before you bat, the locker room prayer, touchdown jesus. well, not really touchdown jesus)

ummm. that's all i thought of this afternoon while i was eating my lunch. now you see why we need more :O) holla

**update! here are the 6 ideas i have, some of them are like those above, some are different. comments still wanted!

2. olympics: a bit about the history of the olympics and then this program is about doing your best, living your life as a sacrifice to god

3. cheating/the ethics of the flop- adapted from dr.k's confirmation program, do you flop or not flop when you're playing sports? just because everyone else does it is it ok? will have some short scenarios from casey's ethics book, small groups could talk through them and say what they would do

4. the global community- program about being part of the global community, what does that mean to you, what do you think it will mean in the future, mlk jr quote, ubuntu

5. human rights: in the past there have been different countries banned from the olympics, different countries boycotting the games, when do you think that should happen. think about the issues with china: tibet and family planning -- include short intro to both. should china even have the games?

6. maybe program on immigration?

7. the importance of play in everyday life. how do you play, how do you relax, is that important to you

magic number

Numbers play a huge part in our lives. It was numbers that told us dad had hep c and then cancer. A number that dictated when he would get a transplant, numbers that told he needed a second one. Numbers that decide if you graduate college or not, numbers that separate a felony and a misdemeanor. Numbers determine if you’re eligible for welfare, how much you can pay your staff, if you can go on vacation. Right now I’m entering numbers that help fund our center, every person is a set of numbers, rape 201, physical abuse 101, stalking 104, involuntary deviate sexual intercourse 215. and how do we deal with these? With more numbers, counseling 35, shelter info 34, PFA info 23, relocation 30, crisis counseling 07. The list of numbers that we work with are endless: ages, dates, times, grades, zip codes, phone numbers, addresses, crimes codes, height, weight, personality, it all comes down to numbers. Yesterday I was assigned two numbers, 10 digits, that hopefully will help change my life in a good way. My new numbers are 300.01 and 296.32. Panic disorder without agoraphobia and Major depressive affective disorder, recurrent episode, moderate degree in the DSM respectively. Numbers went into the diagnoses even, how many panic attacks, how long until you felt calm, how much sleep are you getting, how many nights a week do you eat with your housemates, how many people do you live with, how old are you, how often do you see your therapist. And a question with a one word answer that got me even more numbers: are you willing to take medication? Yes. Ok, you’ll start out at 20mg a day and in 2 weeks come see me and if it’s going ok we’ll up your dosage. I’m not sure how I feel about all of it. In some ways it’s liberating to have a label. To be able to say, this is what’s wrong. It’s still hard to describe the depression; the panic is easier to put into words. We’ll see how it all goes. The drug I’ve been given, Prozac, might work, might not. In some ways I’m not sure how I’ll know if it is working, I mean if the panic attacks stop then that’s one thing, but it’s so hard to describe the depression, I’m not sure how to describe coming out of it. A coworker said when she went on antidepressants her daughter described her as ‘mom without the cloud’. So we’ll find out. I’m not on a therapeutic dose yet, I’ll presumably get bumped up in 2 weeks when I go back. For so long I’ve felt like every ounce of my energy was expended just getting up, going to work and volunteering. And every answer to any set of feelings was to start crying. So maybe I’ll know if the drugs work if those things start to change. I know there are varying opinions on the subject of medication for mental health issues, all I ask is that if you’re reading this you respect the fact that I’m trying this. It’s been tough to come to terms with it and I’ve waiting quite a long time to admit I want to give it a shot. I don’t take it lightly for a whole host of reasons and if you want to chat more about that drop me a line. For now I’m going to finish work (137 minutes left) and then have a lovely 3 day weekend. Happy Memorial Day weekend to you all, I hope you spend it joyously! Love and hugs.r

i know!

overheard at the bar last night: "i don't know why i failed womens studies. i love bitches"

hahahah. it is worth noting that he was COMPLETELY SERIOUS and completely clueless as to how he failed that particular course. oh i do love the bar. and the thing is he was kinda cute before that comment. hahaha.

the post of substance is coming, but probably not till the weekend. sorry, i've had a bit of a tough week. hope you're all having a lovely week! love love. oh and the sister has a new blog post about india up, check it out if you are so inclined.
r

ok

there will be an actual post of substance either tomorrow or thursday. working on something now, but don't have the energy to finish it tonight. it's been a long, exhausting day. becky is safely in india! wahoo! hope you're all having lovely weeks, mine is ok,but more on that in the post to come. i'll leave you with the lyrics to a dar williams song, one that i find hilarious and that will tie in to my next post. she sang this at her show in state college and i had never heard it before and i totally busted out laughing during the song. i'm sure my friend who went with me was thrilled :O)

teen for god

The sun burns down
Leaving God's bright stamp
On Peach Branch Horse and Bible Camp
Where we're splashing in the water
Joined in song
Swimming with the Spirit the whole day long
I'm a teen for God

God is watching - teen for God
God is watching - teen for God

The girls have looks and the girls have rules
They came here from their Bible schools
They can make you pay attention
To the way you dress and eat
Make you trip over your own two feet and they
Kneel down on their towels at night
Their nightgowns glow with a Holy light
And we pray for the sinners
And their drunken car wrecks
And vow that I'll never get high
And have sex
I'm a teen for God

God is watching - teen for God
God is watching - teen for God

And God made every leaf on every tree
Each grain of sand
God has a plan
For what we're meant to be
I gotta wait for God

Dear Lord
I plan each day
The things I will not do or say
But I'm driven by a passion
Is it only there to tame?
It fills my heart and it calls my name and
This world that you made for us
I know, I know, is dangerous
So I ride a lot of horses
And I never even swear
Sorta like praying I'm just not there

Oh God

God is watching - oh God
God is watching

But God made love
God made the rivers run
And cowboy boots and bathing suits
And the boy's skin dries in the sun...
You gotta help me, God

Help me know, four years from now
I won't believe in you anyhow
And I'll mope around the campus
And I'll feel betrayed
All those guilty summers I stayed
But then I'll laugh
That I fell for the lure
Of the pain of desire to feel so pure
And I'll bear all the burdens
Of my little daily crimes
Wish I had a God for such cynical times
Far from today

But for now I'm a sacred vessel
Rip me open - I spread your word
Like a milkweed pod
I'm a radio station -
Your Holy transmission
Even more, like a lightning rod

I'm a lightning rod - a teen for God

God is watching - teen for God
God is watching... a teen for God

new link!

hey, if you look at the links on the side of my page you'll notice a new one titled 'becky's blog from india!'. my little sister is spending 5 weeks in india this summer, she left yesterday and will be back in late june. she's going to try and blog as often as internet access allows her. so if you're interested check it out, if not, just ignore it :O)

happy monday!

6 months ago today

i was on my way to the hosptial, probably about this exact time (11:23am) i was walking into my dads room, a new room after the second transplant, saying hi to his nurse, and looking around trying to figure out what was different and being jazzed that he was no longer on dialysis. yesterday was 6 months that he has had his new liver. it's weird to think that it was only 6 months ago we were not sure if he was going to live. there was a night during the week of not being sure he would make it when my roommate made me dinner and our friends and their dog came over and i still remember coming up the stairs and opening the door and there was dinner and a dog. my friend looked at me like he had no idea what to say, but that he was there. that moment and that night are etched in my mind. like so many of the emails, phone calls, text messages and cards and meals that poured in. i'm very blessed in this life and i'm sure i don't remember that enough. thank you all for the support, prayers, happy thoughts, food, hugs, for being the voice on the phone when i couldn't stop crying, thank you for lifting me up and helping me through the hardest time in my life.
i just got off the phone with my dad and he had no idea it had been 6 months. we've all be preoccupied with the hepatitis c stuff and all seemed to forget about other things. so thank you, thank you, thank you.

"If the only prayer you said in your life was 'thank you,' that would suffice". --Meister Eckhart

fill me up

Fill me up fill me up
I'm a long way from home
And I don't have a lot to say
Fill me up fill me up
Cause you're all that I've got
And I traveled a long long way

Cheer me up cheer me up
Cause I'm all alone
And I'm takin it day by day
Fill me up fill me up
Cause you're all that I've got
And I traveled a long long way. shawn colvin

hello blogosphere. i'm still feeling crappy, hopefully it won't develop into a cold, but thought i would post the best parts of chicago for those of you who read but didn't make it there (is that anyone?) i apologize to the non blue 2 peeps, this might not seem as funny as it did to us.

*JVS being RIGHT about the ice skater. we argued with him for a good 15-20 minutes and then K remembered that she had in fact gone boating with him and perhaps over to his house. the guy sitting behind JVS actually congratulated him. it was hilarious.

*reminiscing about the project in miami: crazy dog lady and then crazy 'i let you f$#@ me in the a$$' lady. raquel drinking waaaaaaaay too much at a gay bar in miami and throwing up pretty much everywhere and then not remembering anything the next day.

*googling the dish at starbucks to see if we could discern her status on this planet (answer, we're not sure)

*dancing to old amerisongs at the reception- hey ya, get low, yeah, notrious big,

*sitting down to lunch at the thai place and it was KJ, JVS, FL and myself and just looking around and it was so surreal.

*realizing that we hadn't seen each other in 3-4 years but we were totally comfortable hanging out and talking.

*raquel may have had a bit too much to drink at the reception. but it was damn fun!

all in all it was the best 4 days in recent memory. well if you take away the traveling, and even that, while frustrating, was a break from my every day life, so it was good. it was so good to see the people that came, it's hard to describe but i feel like just hanging out with people who know you so well is comforting. i'm so blessed to still have you all in my life, and to have spent the year together that we did. love love love. r

skittles and pop music

that is how i made it home last night. it was a long day of traveling, re routed el, long line to security, LOTS of turbulence, torrential downpours, MORE TURBULENCE, a rocky landing in which i am positive we hydroplaned for a bit, and then more rain plus an hour and fifteen minute drive. i left the hotel yesterday at 10:30am and arrived at my house at 12:30am monday. sigh. 14 hour travel days really take it out of you.

i'm spent. i have blog thoughts (about our weekend) tumbling around in my head but i'm honestly too exhausted to do anything other than observe them right now.

i had a fantastically wonderful trip to chicago. i didn't want to come home. to all my b2 peeps, i love you, we need to have a reunion every year. we don't need a wedding or anything, just a weekend of hanging out and having fun. as we proved, this can be done without leaving starbucks :O) the bride looked spectacular, the groom remembered names, and we got our own little ameritable at the recepetion. no really, we were the only 5 top in the joint :O)

ok. back to work. it's a 10 hour day today and i'm only halfway through it. i miss you guys already. happy monday everyone!
q

mini vacation fun

i cannot freaking wait for tomorrow. i'm flying out to chicago. if i did nothing for the whole time but lay in a bed in a hotel that is nowhere near state college i would be happy. of course there will be a wedding, some hanging out, some shopping (i'm sure), food, pictures. and even perhaps a nap after i get in on thursday. i'm not taking my computer and i get in late sunday night. stupid layover. so i'll do the blog/email thing on monday from work. responsible i know. if you're not meeting me in chicago then have a spectacular weekend and i'll catch you next week.
r

my old kentucky home

weep no more, my lady
oh, weep no more, today
we will sing one song for the old kentucky home
for the old kentucky home far away. stephen foster

most of you know i was born in kentucky. my dad and his family lived there forever, my mom and her family for a while when my grandfather was working at the university of kentucky and then again when she dropped out of college and went down and ended up marrying my dad. my dad is reluctant northerner, he still referes to my younger siblings as 'yankees' since they were born in PA and we(me, e, dad and i think mom) were all born in KY. there are some things that are hard wired into you when you're born in kentucky. you love basketball, whether you're a UK or UL fan is purely geographic (we all know who's better), you love saying y'all, you are predisposed to liking hair spray and curlers, you know there will be someone in your life who refers to it as 'the war of northern aggression' or 'the war for states rights', and you love derby day. for as long as i can remember our family has gotten together to watch the 'most exciting 2 minutes in sports'. i'm not going to lie, i would LOVE to wear a little sun dress, a big hat and some fun sunglasses and drink mint juleps all day long. just once (kerrie it is totally going on my list!) so this past saturday we watched the derby, we watch big brown demolish the field at the end of the race, and then we saw the equine ambulances pull up to shield the filly and we sat silently and waited for the announcers to give us the bad news. eight belles ran the race of her life, second in the derby and then to get compound fractures in both legs is just heartbreakingly tragic. my heart goes out to the trainer, owner and jockey. they are all part of a team that cared for that horse. i know there are tons of people who disagree with me and who find horseracing to be a terrible sport, but i see the beauty of the horses, their god given strong bodies running as fast as they can. the intelligence of the jockeys, holding them back until they know they can just let them go and holding on for dear life as the animal barrels down the straightaway. anyway. it was a big part of my weekend to hang out with family and then watch the race, when the announcers came on and said that eight belles trainer/owner/jockey had no comment my mom was pissed they even tried to talk to them. i'm rambling, in short, rip eight belles, you were a beautiful horse and i loved watching you run.

holocaust remembrance day

today is holocaust remembrance day*. there's not better way to put yourself and your life in perspective than to think of the 6 million Jewish citizens that were murdered in the holocaust. i've been to the holocaust museum several times, 2 years ago i was in Israel around this time and was lucky enough to visit yad vashem. it's really interesting to see the different perspectives and i'm really glad i could go. so if you have an extra 10 minutes today maybe have some silence, remember the horror that was the holocaust and thank God for the survivors and their stories that help those who died live on.

God of Our Fathers, let the ashes of the children incinerated in Auschwitz, the rivers of blood spilled at Babbi Yar or Majdanek, be a warning to mankind that hatred is destructive, violence is contagious, while man has an unlimited capacity to cruelty. Almighty God, fulfill the prophecy of Isaiah: "They shall beat their swords into ploughshares . . . nation shall not lift up a sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more."
Amen.
Alexander Kimel

*it actually falls on the 2nd, but since that would overlap with the start of shabbat it's observed on the 1st this year you can find all the dates here