feeling blah

so i guess i have a case of the mondays. i just feel blah and i don't really know why. I spent the weekend moving and starting to unpack and doing laundry. i realized that even though i got rid of a bunch of stuff when i moved, that i should get rid of even more. a lot of it is stuff i just need to commit to. i have tons of memento type stuff that i need to put in scrapbooks, but i'm not making the time to make those scrapbooks. and if i'm not going to make the scrapbooks then i just need to toss the stuff. i did that with a bunch of my americorps tshirts, i took pictures of the logo's and i'm going to print the pic's out and make a collage. so i don't have the tshirts, but still can remember the events. i think i'm also feeling shitty about food and what i look like and how it seems so easy. just eat healthier things and exersize more and you'll feel better, you'll be happier with yourself, and you'll end up looking better. so why is it so fucking hard to do? and it always comes down to me. what is so wrong with me that i can't do this? i don't know why this is all coming up right now. i don't usually have such a defeated attitude and i don't know why i have one now.
i should be happy. i'm finally moved into my new place, the semester is about to start and i'm doing some freaking amazing things with some great people. i'm finding some great seminary information. this morning i went upstairs and EJ was standing in the living room wearing underwear, a tiara and a plastic silver and pink gemstone necklace(she's 3 and a half). and she says 'rachel, i'm wearing panties.' how can you go to work and have a bad day after that? it was so cute. and yet here i am. just crying for no real reason in the middle of the day. i guess it just happens sometimes.